Monday, November 12, 2012

Stop Asking Adopted Kids If We Want To Find Our Real Parents!

I love this article! I grew up with several close friends who
were adopted, and it was just no big deal. Whether they were from
Ukraine or MA, everyone knew who their parents were, the ones
they ate and slept with every night. As the author states, this
view is now somewhat controversial, but I think it should not be

Adopted children, what do you think?

Enjoy, Susan

By Marianna

Everyone looks at a photo of our family and would say we look
like a Benetton ad. All of my siblings, including myself, were
each born on a different continent: Asia, Europe, North America
and South America.

My sister was born in Thailand; I was born in Chile, my oldest
sister in England, and my brother in Michigan.

We were one of the only families in our school with adopted kids.
My older sister wasn't adopted, and my little brother wasn't
either. Just me and my other older sister.

Now. It's cool to be adopted. I tell people my parents were the
ORIGINAL Brangelina, picking up kids from random countries and
giving us a better life. And they did. I think that adopted
kids should have a secret handshake or one of those cool rings
like Green Lantern. So that way we know who's adopted and who's
not. Because unlike non-adopted kids, our parents actually did

Also. We know we are adopted. Even if our parents didn't tell
us, I'd hope that we were smart enough to see that me being 5'3
with dark hair and my mom being 5'10 with blonde hair, that
something was up. People who are adopted usually know that they
are adopted. So stop acting like it's some after school special

Speaking of which: I hate that in the 80's, TV shows made people
totally weird about adopted kids. We are not all like Webster or
Different Strokes.

Or there's always that dumb episode of every sitcom where a minor
character finds out he or she was adopted (at age 18 of course!)
and then goes and finds the birth parents. READ: Skippy from
Family Ties, Steve Sanders on Beverly Hills 90210 and I'm pretty
sure there had to have been a "very special" episode of Saved by
the Bell.

I wish TV and films would stop doing that. I love Wes Anderson
to death, but when he made the two main characters in The Royal
Tenenbaums fall in love, and it was supposedly okay because Margo
was adopted, I was sick to my stomach.

What I want people to know is that we aren't any different from
you. My siblings are just that -- my siblings. I don't think of
them as anything else.

The only real difference between adopted kids and not adopted
kids are the following things:

- Feeling pretty punk rock that when I go to the Doctor it takes
me half the time it takes other people to fill out those forms,
because for the part of family history, I simply write "ADOPTED"
across the top. Time saver for sure.

- In science class in 6th grade when you get to the DNA part and
you figure out the breakdown of your father's DNA and your mom's
and why you are how you are, you just sit that one out. Maybe
read quietly or sit outside in the hall.

-You have nobody that looks like you.

- Having people think your 6'6 blonde brother is your boyfriend.

GROSS! I will usually loudly say "Hey MOM called; you gotta call
OUR MOM BACK!" if there's a cute guy at the table near us. So he
knows, "ah, that's her brother!"

What bothers me about people who find out I'm adopted is that
they always have the most typical response, "Do you want to find
your real mom?" Are you serious!?

My real mom is an accomplished author and teacher. That's my mom.
There's no such thing as a REAL mom and a fake mom. Sure,
there's my birthmom, but I don't ever care or think about her.

She did a very selfless thing to give me up, so why would I want
to bug her? That's incredibly selfish of me. My dad, he's
British and is an Architect and is one of the nicest people ever
and is one of the hardest working people I've ever met. Those
are my REAL parents. So when you ask me if I want to find my
REAL parents, I'll simply tell you they live in Michigan.

My view is a controversial one. I don't think adopted kids should
seek out their birth parents. It's selfish. It's rude. You're
gonna break her heart just because you are curious? It would not
only break my REAL parents' hearts, but who knows what kind of
life she has gone on to lead?

Sometimes birthmoms have moved on and have entire families of
their own who never knew about the baby they gave up.

Please. People. Stop asking adopted kids if we want to find our
parents! You've been asking me that my entire life! Are you
serious!? I'd be dead of starvation, or poor on the streets of
Santiago if it weren't for my parents. I have the best life and
the best family anyone could ever have asked for. I got so
incredibly lucky. Kids who are adopted got the best thing of
all. They got unconditional love from people who chose to have
more kids because they had so much love to give.

I always tell people "Sure, your mom gave you life." But my mom?
Gave me A life.

By Marianna

Marianna has been living in Chicago for the past 5 years after
moving from Los Angeles. She travels extensively as a Mobile
Marketing Tour Manager, and works behind the scenes as Crew for
Feature Films.

Adoption Services International unites loving US families with
Ukrainian children. We provide a unique combination of
professional, individualized, quality service (including a
maximum guaranteed adoption fee), personal adoption experience,
affordable local cost and 20 years Ukrainian experience.

If you or someone you love would like to expand your family,
provide a permanent home for a needy orphaned child, welcome a
sibling for an existing child or discover an alternative for
infertility treatments - contact us to learn more about Ukrainian
adoption, Adoption Services International can help.


Upcoming Events:

Ukrainian Adoption 101:

Conversation On International Adoption: Opportunity, Process,
Concerns and Questions

Monday, November 12, 2012 6:00-7:00PM

Location: Califon Book Store: 72 Main Street, Califon, New Jersey

Ukrainian Adoption Information Meeting

Wednesday, November 28, 2012 7:00-8:00PM

Location: Wellness Rocks: 133 Rupell Road, Clinton, New Jersey

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