The majority of children adopted from Ukraine are not infants.
They are children with personalities and a past. In this article
a mom and her daughter, adopted at age 9, share lessons learned
about older child adoption in this beautiful article.
Every child is unique and every adoption and family experience
will be different. However, as an adopted parent of an older
child much of this story resonates with me.
Since it is a very long piece, I have broken it up into segments.
My comments are in "quotes". Enjoy.
What We Wish We Had Known
By Judy and Sara Myerson
I needed help!
Not only did I need help, but there was nothing wrong with me
because I did. Parents are often ashamed to let others know that
they might be having trouble in a family arrangement that they
wanted so badly.
I did not call my agency or social worker when I began to realize
we were in "uproar." As a clinical social worker with expertise
in working with adolescents and eight years experience in a
psychiatric hospital, I, should have known what to do. Finally I
sought help, and, thank goodness, it wasn't too late.
"Adoption is an extremely emotional experience for the parents,
siblings and newly adopted child. I always suggest that families
get help before, during and after the adoption process. Everyone
needs support. The best help is from someone outside the
situation that does not have any agenda and can be non-judgmental
and totally supportive. A professional is the best. They have
been there many times before and can help you understand that
what you feel, however terrible or terrifying, is often normal.
It is also common for adoptive parents to experience depression
or regret after adopting. No one is comfortable speaking about
it, but these are common feelings. Get help earlier rather than
later. It will help you deal with the emotional roller coaster in
a constructive way."
Adoption Services International unites loving US families with
Ukrainian children. We provide a unique combination of
professional, individualized, quality service (including a
maximum guaranteed adoption fee), personal adoption experience,
affordable local cost and 20 years Ukrainian experience.
If you or someone you love would like to expand your family,
provide a permanent home for a needy orphaned child, welcome a
sibling for an existing child or discover an alternative for
infertility treatments - contact us to learn more about Ukrainian
adoption, Adoption Services International can help.
Ukrainian Adoption 101:
Conversation On International Adoption: Opportunity, Process,
Concerns and Questions
Monday, November 12, 2012 6:00-7:00PM
Location: Califon Book Store: 72 Main Street, Califon, New Jersey
Ukrainian Adoption Information Meeting
Wednesday, November 28, 2012 7:00-8:00PM
Location: Wellness Rocks: 133 Rupell Road, Clinton, New Jersey